What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

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And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Why is social media so anti-fee speech, and have they become total BS?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

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Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

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Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Why is it after eating almonds when I’m occupied, I don’t feel mild itch, but as soon as I have nothing to do, I feel mildly itchy?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Why do I have the impression that almost all questions about advertising the flat Earth theory come from people who don't believe in a flat Earth themselves and are just provoking?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

I caught my neighbor leaving his 12-year-old son home alone and he has not come back in 6 hours. Should I call CPS?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Can a relationship really last forever?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Is there any evidence to support the existence of people who have experienced "gangstalking"? Or is it a psychological phenomenon?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Make Nazis afraid again!

Why do people still think Michael Jackson was guilty?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Why do women consider 80% of men as unattractive?

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